inspiration

yesterday i hung out with a friend of mine who smokes and has no intention of ever quitting.  when she went outside with my wife for a cigarette, her father turned to me and said "i smoked for 35 years, and i've been smoke-free now for 6.  i'll never go back."  he had started smoking around the age of 11 and carried his own pack of cigarettes by age 13 - the same time i was dreaming about smoking myself. 

he told me that he had begun to mentally prepare for the quitting process years before it ever happened.  first, he stopped smoking inside his house.  then he stopped smoking while working.  eventually, he got to the point where one day he just said "maybe i won't have a cigarette today."

i think that in a way i have been going through the same process.  for years now i've been so disgusted by cigarettes i can hardly stand them, except when i'm sucking them down one by one outside of a seedy bar somewhere.  i guess i always thought that i was in control somehow, like i could stop whenever i wanted - just not today.  the only reason i am able to quit now is because i've finally admitted that i'm powerless over this addiction.  i can't just have one cigarette.

in any case, it was very inspirational to talk to this man yesterday - someone who has won the battle over his addiction, an addiction with much deeper roots than mine.  i can't help but think to myself:  if he can do it, why can't i?