awwww man, my neck is killing me! it's day 18 and i'm suffering from chronic neck pain. i looked it up online, and found that smoking could be a factor. apparently smoking affects the spine and vertebrae, and it could take quite sometime before i fully recover from whatever damage i have done.
now that i think about it, i have had quite a bit of back pain through the years - i wonder if it had anything to do with my smoking habit? i always chalked it up to the fact that i used to install carpet, a trade that does not help your back much. i'm starting to think that my smoking may have made it much worse, and i should probably add this to my ever growing list of symptoms.
in any case, i never thought that quitting would be such a pain in the neck! i feel like cravings are the least of my worries with all of the other crap that i'm experiencing. the great thing is that i've almost reached 3 weeks without cigarettes - a milestone that i think will be quite significant.
i guess i'll take some aspirin for now and hope my neck problems go away.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
inspiration
yesterday i hung out with a friend of mine who smokes and has no intention of ever quitting. when she went outside with my wife for a cigarette, her father turned to me and said "i smoked for 35 years, and i've been smoke-free now for 6. i'll never go back." he had started smoking around the age of 11 and carried his own pack of cigarettes by age 13 - the same time i was dreaming about smoking myself.
he told me that he had begun to mentally prepare for the quitting process years before it ever happened. first, he stopped smoking inside his house. then he stopped smoking while working. eventually, he got to the point where one day he just said "maybe i won't have a cigarette today."
i think that in a way i have been going through the same process. for years now i've been so disgusted by cigarettes i can hardly stand them, except when i'm sucking them down one by one outside of a seedy bar somewhere. i guess i always thought that i was in control somehow, like i could stop whenever i wanted - just not today. the only reason i am able to quit now is because i've finally admitted that i'm powerless over this addiction. i can't just have one cigarette.
in any case, it was very inspirational to talk to this man yesterday - someone who has won the battle over his addiction, an addiction with much deeper roots than mine. i can't help but think to myself: if he can do it, why can't i?
he told me that he had begun to mentally prepare for the quitting process years before it ever happened. first, he stopped smoking inside his house. then he stopped smoking while working. eventually, he got to the point where one day he just said "maybe i won't have a cigarette today."
i think that in a way i have been going through the same process. for years now i've been so disgusted by cigarettes i can hardly stand them, except when i'm sucking them down one by one outside of a seedy bar somewhere. i guess i always thought that i was in control somehow, like i could stop whenever i wanted - just not today. the only reason i am able to quit now is because i've finally admitted that i'm powerless over this addiction. i can't just have one cigarette.
in any case, it was very inspirational to talk to this man yesterday - someone who has won the battle over his addiction, an addiction with much deeper roots than mine. i can't help but think to myself: if he can do it, why can't i?
Friday, January 21, 2011
the race against myself
the twelfth day without cigarettes finds me in good spirits. my lungs feel like they are finally starting to clear up a bit. this week i started running again and i'm planning on easing into some resistance workouts next week.
i live on a lake with a road around it that just happens to be exactly 2 miles in circumference, so often times i use this loop to gauge my distance when i go jogging. in the past, i've also tried to simply run around the lake once as fast as i could to see how much my fitness level has changed over the years. one time last year, after not smoking for a few days, i busted my ass and did the loop in 16:04. not bad, but nowhere near what i could have done before i started smoking.
so yesterday i decided to time myself again, but not to kill it like the last time. since i quit smoking i haven't exercised very much, wanting to concentrate on the healing process more than anything else. also, i have gained about 10 pounds between the holidays and the eating i've been doing in the last 12 days. so, needless to say, i'm not in the best of shape.
anyway, i ran at what seemed like a pretty strenuous pace, but not too fast, and came up with 17:15 at the finish. at first i was a little disappointed, but after i was able to catch my breath in a mere 30 seconds or so, i felt decidedly healthy and inspired to improve. my new quest is to "race against myself" once a week and report back with my time on this blog. i'm hoping to improve each and every time as my lungs heal and my fitness level improves.
wish me luck.
i live on a lake with a road around it that just happens to be exactly 2 miles in circumference, so often times i use this loop to gauge my distance when i go jogging. in the past, i've also tried to simply run around the lake once as fast as i could to see how much my fitness level has changed over the years. one time last year, after not smoking for a few days, i busted my ass and did the loop in 16:04. not bad, but nowhere near what i could have done before i started smoking.
so yesterday i decided to time myself again, but not to kill it like the last time. since i quit smoking i haven't exercised very much, wanting to concentrate on the healing process more than anything else. also, i have gained about 10 pounds between the holidays and the eating i've been doing in the last 12 days. so, needless to say, i'm not in the best of shape.
anyway, i ran at what seemed like a pretty strenuous pace, but not too fast, and came up with 17:15 at the finish. at first i was a little disappointed, but after i was able to catch my breath in a mere 30 seconds or so, i felt decidedly healthy and inspired to improve. my new quest is to "race against myself" once a week and report back with my time on this blog. i'm hoping to improve each and every time as my lungs heal and my fitness level improves.
wish me luck.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
remembering more maladies
i was just thinking this morning that there are a handful of other maladies i have experienced in the last year from smoking that i forgot to mention in my "reasons to quit" post. when you are a smoker, i think you tend to push aside a lot of little health problems, but now i'm beginning to go back and remember quite a few issues i've had over the years.
red eyes: i've definitely developed red, irritated eyes from smoking. to be completely honest, i think i've been an eye-drop addict for at least 3 or 4 years now. the problem is that you can't use eye drops every single day because they eventually stop working and can even make your eyes worse over a period of time. so i have developed a rationing practice where i save the drops for nights out with friends, special occasions, etc. if i am out drinking and smoking, i can feel my eyes drying up and turning beet-red as the night progresses and i often sneak to the bathroom to apply more drops.
pounding in my ear: at one point this year i began to hear a loud pounding in my left ear - it was the sound of my heart! it was so loud that it actually would keep me up at night. i looked online and found that many other people have also experienced this. there are a number of reasons why it can happen, but now that i look back on it i really think in my case it was probably smoking. cigarettes can increase your blood pressure, which i'm sure could have caused the pounding sensation. remarkably enough, i ended up flying on a plane to visit relatives for the holidays and the pressure change reduced my pounding substantially. i still hear it a little sometimes, but it is slowly and steadily going away now that i've quit smoking.
insomnia: i've wrestled with insomnia for a few years and always thought that it was due to the stress i was under. i've been through a great deal of financial strain in the last couple years, losing a house and a business, and also dealing with a 2-year-old who doesn't sleep very well and often wakes up in the middle of the night for water or hugs. i never thought it had anything to do with my smoking habit until i quit. the other day i was startled when i woke up in the morning and couldn't remember what happened during the night! what a great feeling. sleeping better has also improved my function during the day - i'm more efficient with my work and feel less groggy and disconnected.
dizziness: this is by far the worst symptom of my smoking habit and the one that i deny the most. i have had so many dizzy spells over the last two years that it has become almost like a monthly or weekly occurrence. usually the bouts of dizziness come when i have a cold, or after a night of heavy smoking, but either way i know that they are respiratory related. the worst part is that when i have one, my adrenaline kicks in a little and makes me feel panicked, which in turn increases the feeling of faintness. i've had one while getting my hair cut, while at breakfast with my family, and even while driving the car. i don't ever want to feel that way again, and i sincerely hope that smoking removes this horrible malady from my life.
red eyes: i've definitely developed red, irritated eyes from smoking. to be completely honest, i think i've been an eye-drop addict for at least 3 or 4 years now. the problem is that you can't use eye drops every single day because they eventually stop working and can even make your eyes worse over a period of time. so i have developed a rationing practice where i save the drops for nights out with friends, special occasions, etc. if i am out drinking and smoking, i can feel my eyes drying up and turning beet-red as the night progresses and i often sneak to the bathroom to apply more drops.
pounding in my ear: at one point this year i began to hear a loud pounding in my left ear - it was the sound of my heart! it was so loud that it actually would keep me up at night. i looked online and found that many other people have also experienced this. there are a number of reasons why it can happen, but now that i look back on it i really think in my case it was probably smoking. cigarettes can increase your blood pressure, which i'm sure could have caused the pounding sensation. remarkably enough, i ended up flying on a plane to visit relatives for the holidays and the pressure change reduced my pounding substantially. i still hear it a little sometimes, but it is slowly and steadily going away now that i've quit smoking.
insomnia: i've wrestled with insomnia for a few years and always thought that it was due to the stress i was under. i've been through a great deal of financial strain in the last couple years, losing a house and a business, and also dealing with a 2-year-old who doesn't sleep very well and often wakes up in the middle of the night for water or hugs. i never thought it had anything to do with my smoking habit until i quit. the other day i was startled when i woke up in the morning and couldn't remember what happened during the night! what a great feeling. sleeping better has also improved my function during the day - i'm more efficient with my work and feel less groggy and disconnected.
dizziness: this is by far the worst symptom of my smoking habit and the one that i deny the most. i have had so many dizzy spells over the last two years that it has become almost like a monthly or weekly occurrence. usually the bouts of dizziness come when i have a cold, or after a night of heavy smoking, but either way i know that they are respiratory related. the worst part is that when i have one, my adrenaline kicks in a little and makes me feel panicked, which in turn increases the feeling of faintness. i've had one while getting my hair cut, while at breakfast with my family, and even while driving the car. i don't ever want to feel that way again, and i sincerely hope that smoking removes this horrible malady from my life.
Monday, January 17, 2011
day eight
first week is in the bag. still coughing up crap from my lungs - i can't wait to be well! here's a quote i found by one of my favorite authors, kurt vonnegut, jr:
"The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide."
well i've decided that i want to live.
"The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide."
well i've decided that i want to live.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
the first big test
today is day 6 without cigarettes. i still feel sort of shitty and it's starting to irritate me a bit. i was reading something today about quitting smoking, and it said that i should expect to have strange symptoms for the first few weeks. that's really great. it's like exercising - you have to do it for like 3 months before you notice a difference. i want instant results!
anyway, one really positive thing to report is that i passed my first really big test last night. every friday i attend a beer tasting, something that i look forward to all week. it's a chance to escape my family for a few hours, see my friends, and taste some really great beer. the problem is that drinking makes me crave cigarettes, and there's always plenty of smokers at the tastings to "bum" from. last night, however, i resisted temptation and did not smoke!
i also must say that my ability to smell and taste has improved dramatically just in the course of one week. i was getting so many new smells and flavors from the beer last night that i almost didn't know how to process them. i think it will take a while before my body adjusts and i learn to wield my newfound powers. until then, i will continue to pamper myself with all the delicious food and beverage i desire - i can tell i'm already gaining weight.
tomorrow makes 1 week without cigarettes and i'm dying to cross that first milestone. after that, there's only 467 more to go before my lungs look exactly the same as a non-smoker's. onward!
anyway, one really positive thing to report is that i passed my first really big test last night. every friday i attend a beer tasting, something that i look forward to all week. it's a chance to escape my family for a few hours, see my friends, and taste some really great beer. the problem is that drinking makes me crave cigarettes, and there's always plenty of smokers at the tastings to "bum" from. last night, however, i resisted temptation and did not smoke!
i also must say that my ability to smell and taste has improved dramatically just in the course of one week. i was getting so many new smells and flavors from the beer last night that i almost didn't know how to process them. i think it will take a while before my body adjusts and i learn to wield my newfound powers. until then, i will continue to pamper myself with all the delicious food and beverage i desire - i can tell i'm already gaining weight.
tomorrow makes 1 week without cigarettes and i'm dying to cross that first milestone. after that, there's only 467 more to go before my lungs look exactly the same as a non-smoker's. onward!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
the plan
day four. woke up coughing a lot and bringing up more crap from my lungs. i can feel my body healing itself, but i'm still not out of the woods yet. the thing that sucks is that the better i feel, the more i crave a cigarette. it's almost like i can't stand feeling great and i actually want to live in a state of mediocre health. it's the perfect time to talk about my plan to stay away from tobacco.
this blog is a big part of my quitting plan. i've tried to quit lots of times before, but never kept a journal of my progress, and i think it will help me a lot. i'm actually hoping to learn from my previous attempts at quitting and use that knowledge to guide me this time. for example: in the past i would exercise like crazy, since i hate smoking after a work out. this time i'm taking it slow - staying fit but not going nuts. in the past i've also combined my quit date with some sort of diet change. this time i've decided to eat what i want, especially during the first couple weeks. my ability to smell and taste food is already improving, so why put it to waste? here's what i had for lunch yesterday:
mmmm... delicious grilled steak, steamed broccoli with fresh garlic, potato salad, and 6 ounces of home-brewed sweet stout. i also made my own dipping sauce out of stout, oil, vinegar, tomato paste, and steak seasoning - it came out awesome. i had a little bit of a craving after finishing the meal, but i got right back to work and soon forgot all about it.
so that brings me to the most important part of the plan - how to handle cravings and avoid relapsing. this is the hardest part of quitting. stopping smoking is no problem for me, i've done it a thousand times, it's staying smoke-free that i've never been able to master. this time i've decided to come up with a list of alternate activities that i can do when i have a craving - things that take about the same amount of time as smoking a cigarette. here's a few of my ideas:
light exercise: nothing crazy, just some push-ups and sit-ups, some jumping jacks, or even 2 minutes on the trampoline (we have a small one in our house and i happen to work from home). whenever i get a little out of breath, i stop craving cigarettes immediately.
oral engagement: smoking is such an oral habit, and i think that by occupying my mouth with other activities i could distract myself from cravings. ideas include chewing gum, putting a toothpick in my mouth, and brushing my teeth. imagine if i brushed my teeth every time i had a craving? not only would my smile improve from the absence of cigarette smoke and tar, but also from all the cleaning action!
breathing exercises: a few months ago, i learned about these breathing exercises that you can do to improve your lung function, increase oxygen absorption, and even lose weight. i performed them for a few days, but then picked up cigarettes again and never continued. i want to start doing them again, especially when i'm craving a smoke. after i complete the exercises, my lungs feel full and clean, and the last thing i'm thinking about is cigarettes.
i'm trying to take a much more positive approach to quitting this time by doing things that help, not hurt. in the past i've tried all sorts of crazy stuff like slapping myself in the face when i had a craving, or running 10 miles if i had a relapse. this time i'm only going to do positive things. like every morning i get up to pray and meditate for a few minutes. i'm also thinking about rewarding myself with presents, like maybe after 1 month i'll get myself the bicycle i've always wanted. in any case, i'm putting more energy into this than ever before and i'm planning on following through this time.
this blog is a big part of my quitting plan. i've tried to quit lots of times before, but never kept a journal of my progress, and i think it will help me a lot. i'm actually hoping to learn from my previous attempts at quitting and use that knowledge to guide me this time. for example: in the past i would exercise like crazy, since i hate smoking after a work out. this time i'm taking it slow - staying fit but not going nuts. in the past i've also combined my quit date with some sort of diet change. this time i've decided to eat what i want, especially during the first couple weeks. my ability to smell and taste food is already improving, so why put it to waste? here's what i had for lunch yesterday:
mmmm... delicious grilled steak, steamed broccoli with fresh garlic, potato salad, and 6 ounces of home-brewed sweet stout. i also made my own dipping sauce out of stout, oil, vinegar, tomato paste, and steak seasoning - it came out awesome. i had a little bit of a craving after finishing the meal, but i got right back to work and soon forgot all about it.
so that brings me to the most important part of the plan - how to handle cravings and avoid relapsing. this is the hardest part of quitting. stopping smoking is no problem for me, i've done it a thousand times, it's staying smoke-free that i've never been able to master. this time i've decided to come up with a list of alternate activities that i can do when i have a craving - things that take about the same amount of time as smoking a cigarette. here's a few of my ideas:
light exercise: nothing crazy, just some push-ups and sit-ups, some jumping jacks, or even 2 minutes on the trampoline (we have a small one in our house and i happen to work from home). whenever i get a little out of breath, i stop craving cigarettes immediately.
oral engagement: smoking is such an oral habit, and i think that by occupying my mouth with other activities i could distract myself from cravings. ideas include chewing gum, putting a toothpick in my mouth, and brushing my teeth. imagine if i brushed my teeth every time i had a craving? not only would my smile improve from the absence of cigarette smoke and tar, but also from all the cleaning action!
breathing exercises: a few months ago, i learned about these breathing exercises that you can do to improve your lung function, increase oxygen absorption, and even lose weight. i performed them for a few days, but then picked up cigarettes again and never continued. i want to start doing them again, especially when i'm craving a smoke. after i complete the exercises, my lungs feel full and clean, and the last thing i'm thinking about is cigarettes.
i'm trying to take a much more positive approach to quitting this time by doing things that help, not hurt. in the past i've tried all sorts of crazy stuff like slapping myself in the face when i had a craving, or running 10 miles if i had a relapse. this time i'm only going to do positive things. like every morning i get up to pray and meditate for a few minutes. i'm also thinking about rewarding myself with presents, like maybe after 1 month i'll get myself the bicycle i've always wanted. in any case, i'm putting more energy into this than ever before and i'm planning on following through this time.
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